Ratchet & Clank: All or Something
by abstow89
Summary: Prequel to Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal, this story involves our heroes being pursued by bounty hunters from Obsidiak, Snivelak's moon. And yes...they must save the universe...again.
1. Whatever Happened to Hairmons?

**Ratchet and Clank: All or…Something**

A prequel to Ratchet and Clank: Up your Arsenal. Someone has placed a hit on our two heroes on Planet Endako and attacked Planet Snivelak at the same time. If they're not robots or those Thugs, then who are they…?

**9:27 am...Endako time**

Ratchet and Clank were resting on the couch inside of Clank's apartment, flipping through various channel ads. It was sunny outside, the cars hovering back and forth by their apartment, birds singing, all that stuff. Absolutely nothing could go wrong. ...Or could it?

"Whatever happened to that robot girlfriend of yours?" asked Ratchet.

"Umm...she decided to part other ways." said Clank.

"She dumped you?"

"NO! No, we just decided...to stay friends...from a very far away distance."

"So she dumped you?"

"I didn't say that! After that business with the Protopets and getting blown up by Qwark, she said it would be best for her to stay away. You know, for her own safety."

"I see."

"Yes."

"She dumped you!"

Ratchet chuckled as Clank yelled at his various break-up comments. He sighed and muttered,

"I'm going for a walk..."

All right. Call me back when you get back together with your girlfriend."

"Shut up!"

**10:24 am...Snivelak time**

With all the Thugs on Snivelak dead or in jail, there was practically no more defense left for the Thugs' HQ. A rival organization that goes by the name of Hairmons 'R' Us, was invading their headquarters, assaulting any surviving personnel on the way. The Hairmons were a league of mutant crossbreeds between a lizard and raccoon. While some had black striped fur and scaly long tails, others had spikes on their backs retreating to the top of their heads. Some looked completely horrible and half their bodies were pale-green skin and the other half was brown fur.

Believe it or not, but the Hairmons were relatives of the Thugs out-casted to one of Snivelak's moons, Obsidiak. After residing in the radioactive atmosphere and ozone layer, they became the horrible mutants that were killing all the Thugs one-by-one. One of their main henchmen, named Kikkut Wykly, was standing on top of a Thugs-4-Less Henchman with a blaster aimed at his back. Kikkut Wykly was a Hairmon who's only mutation was a scaly, spiky green tail. Other than that, he looks like a striped black raccoon or wolverine with a vest and shorts on.

"Where's your Leader?" he asked.

"I told you already, he's dead!"

"That's a lie. If he were dead, he wouldn't be robbing banks and trying to get enough money to rebuild his new organization."

"I didn't know about that. I just--"

Wykly shot a hole through his back, realizing he was of no more use.

"We're almost done here. What should we do when all the Henchmen are dead?" asked Wyly, another Hairmon Henchman. He was a green Thugs-4-Less Henchman, only with one raccoon arm.

"Take any technology you can find. I don't want their Leader coming back and try to find what he left behind."

"Yes, sir."

**Meanwhile...**

The Thugs-4-Less leader was strolling the swamps of Oozla, wearing a green vest outfit and glasses. He must've thought it would've disguised himself long enough to evade the Hairmons. But, of course, it didn't. He took out a hovering message board and started talking to one of his associates.

"Whaddaya need today, 'Max'?" he asked.

"Stop making fun of my alias! It's the only way to avoid those Hairmons from getting close to us."

"Right. Like some mutated Thug is gonna pop from behind us and--"

A gun appeared behind the Leader's associate and fired a bullet at his back. He quickly destroyed the message board before the assailant spotted him.

"This is all Ratchet's fault!! If he just woulda minded his own business, I wouldn't be sitting on a mutated swampland getting bit in the ass by those mutant fireflies! He's has to pay! ...Just as soon as I find a telephone."

**Back on Endako...**

It has been nearly three hours and Clank still hadn't returned to the apartment. Ratchet started to think that he actually hurt Clank's feelings.

"Clank should've been back by now..."

He shut off the TV and got off the couch, walking outside the apartment.

"Hey, Clank! You out here buddy?"

Someone suddenly shut the door and laughed evilly behind him. Ratchet turned around and gasped, staring down the barrel of a Thugs-4-Less Elite Henchman's gun.

"End of the road Lombax!" he yelled.

"Oh, crud."

As the Henchman fired his gun, it clicked loudly and didn't fire.

"Huh?" He pulled the trigger twice and it clicked again.

Ratchet put his hands down, as if he already knew what was going to happen.

"You stupid--" The Henchman continued to pull the trigger, and it kept clicking right in his face. He scratched his head, completely confused and not knowing what to do.

"Maybe something's jammed in barrel?" suggested Ratchet.

"Oh, right. I knew that."

The Henchman looked through the barrel of the gun...

...and screamed when a plasma bullet fired in his face.

Ratchet scoffed. "Idiot."

More plasma bullets began to fire at Ratchet, nearly hitting him in the ear.

"Where's my Heavy Lancer?!" he shouted, quickly opening the door.

He searched through the apartment's closet and pulled out the massive blaster made from Megacorp, shooting the two thugs who kicked in the door.

"Yeah! You guys are in trouble now!"

Ratchet began side-stepping across the walkway, shooting the Thugs-4-Less Brutes from the adjacent building. Another Elite Henchman jumped down near Ratchet, kicking the gun out his hand. He got into a fighter's stance and started side-stepping, waiting for Ratchet to make his move. Instead of getting into a long, continuous fist-fight with the reptile, he took out his Omniwrench 8000 V3 and bashed him on the head, rendering him unconscious.

"Anyone else want some?"

Several gunshots and loud grunts were heard across the walkway. Ratchet saw a Thug get tossed over a wall, his whole body nearly charred. He ran past a building and near one of the cleaning warehouses. finding over 10 Thugs on the ground, all of whom were dead.

"Holy crap. I know these guys are stupid and all...but someone must be really peeved to take on 12 Thugs at once."

Ratchet heard more gunshots and groaning, noticing a Thugs-4-Less Brute in red armor fall from building and land at his feet.

"...Make that thirteen."

Two grotesque creatures jumped in front of him, standing tall and elegant as though there was nothing to fear. Ratchet couldn't tell who was uglier: the raccoon with half a lizard's face and tail or the lizard with a raccoon's arm, leg and torso. Both of them looked down and smiled devilishly at Ratchet. Compared to them, Ratchet was as tiny as a shrimp.

Ratchet could only look in fear and say, "What are you...?"

**To be continued...**


	2. The Enemy of my Enemy

**Ratchet and Clank: All or...Something**

Ratchet faces against a new enemy species and travels around Endako looking for Clank. And guess who makes a surprise appearance?

"I'm guessing your not the good guys...?" asked Ratchet.

The two Hairmons held out two duel blasters and aimed it at Ratchet's head.

"Does this answer your question?"

"Yeah, that just about sums it up."

Ratchet cart-wheeled sideways and began to sidestep and blast the Hairmons with his Heavy Lancer. One of then laughed evilly.

"You really think those Lancer bullets can really damage us Hairmons?"

"That is exactly what I thought!" complained Ratchet.

"It'll take an immense amount of power to defeat us!!" said a hairmon, firing an Ultra mini-nuke at Ratchet and nearly killing him.

(I'm gonna need a bigger gun, like a Megarocket Cannon for example.) thought Ratchet. He ran past another trail of blaster shots, rolling past a building and knocking over a trash bin. Like always, Sweeper bots were spawned and viewed Ratchet as a threat...or a piece of waste.

"Megacorp Sweeper Bots! I have no time for you today!" he yelled, blasting them all to pieces with his Lancer.

"Okay, if I can get into the warehouse and find that Megarocket, I'm home free. I just hope I don't run into any--WHOA!!"

Ratchet ducked and jumped over a wave of bullets. Smaller Hairmons were shooting at him from the distance, all of which were equally ugly. Ratchet tried shooting at the Hairmons, but they hardly took any damage either...and he was beginning to run low on ammo.

"End of the line, Lombax!"

He quickly threw his wrench at one of them and watched as the gun flinged out of his grip, firing into the other's face. Ratchet instantly jump-kicked the Hairmon and began bashing him on the head with butt of his Lancer.

"Is that all ya go--"

Ratchet hit him again.

"Is that all ya go--"

Ratchet hit him again.

"Is that all ya go--"

Another bash in the head.

"Is that all ya got...?" he muttered, groggily.

"WILL...YOU...SHUt...UP!!" he muttered, repeatedly hitting him in the head.

**20 minutes later...**

Eventually, Ratchet gave up trying to render the guy unconscious, so he tied him to a lamp post and put a gag in his mouth.

"Now that that's over, I gotta find the Megarocket Cannon." he said.

Someone fell in front of Ratchet, his huge body mass bypassing him by far. He was big, bulky and fat, wearing green shorts and blue and reddish vest.

"Hey!" said the nysterious being.

Ratchet looked up and gasped.

"Remember me, Ratchet?" said the Thugs-4-Less leader.

There was no point in hiding anymore. He was already exposed and his company was gone. Only a few Snivelak mercenaries worked for Thugs-4-Less now. All of the others were dead. The leader only found it suitable to kill the creature that caused him so much trouble in the first place.

"Son...of a Qwark."

The leader kicked the crap out of Ratchet and took out his Chopper, shooting multiple star discs at him.

"WHOA! Hey--Wait a minute!" he pleaded.

"You ruined my life Ratchet! You destroyed my helicopter, you blew up my robots. Above all, you humiliated me. So many of my mercs have fallen...over some pissant creature like you."

"What part of 'I'm trying to help you' don't you understand?!"

"The help part!"

Ratchet sighed exasperatedly. He didn't want to fight him, but then again, he didn't want to get killed by him, or those Hairmons for that matter.

"Fine. Put the gun down. Stop hiding behind your guns and choppers and robots and fight me like a man."

The leader laughed evilly, tossing the Chopper aside. He took out a knife and said, "Bring it on, bitch."

Ratchet clashed his wrench against the Thug Leader's knife and they began to fight.


	3. Find the Metalman, Part 1

**Ratchet and Clank: All or…Something**

Ratchet faces an ultimatum with the Thugs-4-Less Leader in order to find Clank and get off Endako alive.

Ratchet and the leader were violently clanging their metal objects together, trying to hit the other before anymore Hairmons come back. It wasn't that they were fighting to the death (not for Ratchet anyway) but if the giant Hairmons caught back up to them, they'd both be dead. Ratchet and the leader hit their objects together four times very rapidly until the leader was going on the offensive, cutting into Ratchet's arm.

"Ow, ow, ow, OWW!!"

Ratchet shoved him away and threw his wrench at his head twice. He suddenly hit him in the stomach and charged into him, slamming the leader into the door. Now the two of them were fighting over the knife, but it was still on the leader's offensive. He had it aimed at Ratchet's throat, slowly shoving it up. Both of them were straining: Ratchet was trying to get the knife away and the leader was trying to thrust it into his neck. When the blade was about to slit him, he slapped his hand away and started punching the leader in the head several times over.

The leader kicked him off him and started kicking him in the chest. Ratchet caught his leg and punched him in the throat, also tripping him onto the ground again. It was at that point that Ratchet had enough. He needed to find Clank and worry about the leader another day. Of course, he did need an ally to help him find Clank…and the Hairmons are relatives of the Thugs. He got an idea, wondering if he could use the leader as a collateral partner which he could later screw over and throw in jail. He'd be killing two birds with one stone. Ratchet picked up a knife and approached the leader, putting it over his throat.

"What're you gonna do, kill me?" asked the leader.

"You know, I really should. After all that crap you put me through on Aranos and Snivelak, killing you isn't a problem at all. But that's not this is about."

"So, what's it about then Ratchet?"

He had to think of the right words otherwise he'll know he's lying and he'll probably take the knife and kill him.

"…Let's face it. Neither of us is in the right position to go up against these guys. I spent almost a half hour bashing the guy's head in and he's still alive." said Ratchet, pointing to the tied up Hairmon.

"What's your point?"

Ratchet didn't know what to say next.

"Let's face it Lombax, we're both gonna be dead by the end of this week unless we help each other out. You can either kill me now or let me go so I can help you."

Ratchet came very close to smiling because his plan to fool him actually worked. But he still had to act like he was hell-bent on killing the lizard.

"Oh, really? How can you do that? Do you know where Clank is?"

"Yes. We got to him before those Hairmons did. But if you let me go so I can help you find him, he's gonna die in the next two minutes."

"WHAT!!"

Ratchet lifted the blade and the leader head butted him and grabbed the knife.

"Gotcha Lombax! I'm not as stupid as you took me for now am I? I'm a Class-A idiot who ran Bogon's biggest mercenary unit."

"Maybe that's why all your employees are dead." suggested Ratchet.

"SHUT UP!! You see, it's just like I said. You need me. That's why I haven't killed you yet. If we team up with each other though, there's a _slight _chance we'll see this through."

"I know that; what were you saying about Clank dying in the next two minutes?!"

"Unless my captors holding him are dead, if I don't contact them every 10 minutes, I've instructed them to kill him. Who's the idiot now?"

"Shut up and call them!" Ratchet yelled.

The leader picked up a radio and started talking through it.

"Hey Danny, come in."

The leader got nothing but static.

"Danny, come in."

Still nothing but static.

"Well, you're in luck. My team's dead."

"Whew! That's a relief."

"You know, that means the Hairmons got him then."

"…Right." Ratchet growled.

"If I just had my Megarocket Cannon--"

The leader tossed the massive gun at Ratchet's feet. He smiled and picked it up, charging it to fire four rockets at once. It was at that time when the two giant Hairmons appeared, ready to kill Ratchet and the Thug. Ratchet fired four enhanced rockets out the Cannon and hit the raccoon mutant in the face, leaving a huge red mark on it. At least the plan worked and he was dead now.

"Oh, crud…" said the other Hairmon, shortly before getting blasted away by another barrage of rockets.

"My work here is done." said Ratchet triumphantly.

* * *

Ratchet and the leader were inside the warehouse, rushing to find Clank before the Hairmons could kill him.

"You sure this is where you guys held Clank?"

"Of course we did. Just follow the trail of dead Thugs and we should find him."

"What's your name?"

"What…?"

"Come on, if I'm gonna be partners with you, I can't run around calling you Thugs-4-Less Leader now can I?"

The leader sighed. "It's Tensyon alright? I guess my parents thought I wa tense so they named me Tensyon."

"Don't you mean Tension?"

"No, I don't."

Tensyon and Ratchet continued to walk down the hall until someone suddenly shut a metal door behind them, forcing them to deal with a squad of mostly reptilian Hairmons. Ratchet and Tensyon rolled out the way to avoid the various balls of Mini-Nukes. Ratchet fired two missiles at a Hairmon, instantly incinerating him.

"Not so tough now are ya?!" he boastingly yelled.

Tensyon broke one's neck and stabbed him in the throat, hoping he'll stay down. One Hairmon took out a Blitz cannon and began shooting shotgun bursts at him, but he simply hid behind a metal crate. His gun suddenly jammed.

"Damnit!" he yelled.

Tensyon grabbed a Mini-Nuke and shot it at him, blowing him up. Ratchet started fighting a Hairmon with his wrench until he bashed his Mini-Nuke out of his hand. Then the two of them were fighting over the gun as though they were dogs fighting over a ball.

"Give me the gun!"

"No!"

"GIVE ME THE GUN!!"

"NO!!"

"FINE!!" shouted Ratchet, kicking the Hairmon in the groin.

He groaned and looked like he was about to pass out, giving Ratchet the chance to blow him up with the Mini-Nuke.

"I'm starting to miss blowing you Thugs up like that."

"Watch it Lombax…" growled Tensyon.

"Ratchet and that fat lizard are already here!" said a Hairmon in the distance.

They couldn't see them except for their shadows, and right next to one of them was Clank.

"I'm not fat!" yelled Tensyon.

"Clank!" yelled Ratchet.

Both of them had something they needed: Ratchet had to save Clank and Tensyon had to kill the Hairmon who called him fat. They rushed down the hall and one of the Hairmons immediately put a Blitz Cannon at his head.

"One more step!" he shouted.

The other Hairmon aimed his gun at Tensyon. All five of them were trapped. Even though Clank was a robot made of hard metal, the Blitz Cannon burst was enough to scramble the circuitry in his brain, rendering him to be nothing more than a tin can. Ratchet and Tensyon had to do something…and they had to do it very quickly. Other wise, they'd be dead, and the Hairmons would get away, continuing whatever evil scheme they had.

It was that simple.

**To be Continued…**


	4. Find the Metalman, Part 2

**Ratchet and Clank: All or…Something**

Part 2 of Find the Metal Man.

Ratchet and Tensyon were standing there, aiming their weapons at the two Hairmons. It had to be a lot simpler than it looked. A Thugs-4-Less leader, a Lombax, a robot and two raccoon-lizard mutants. It couldn't be any simpler to figure out. Ratchet could take out his Heavy Lancer and shoot the Hairmon with the Blitz cannon at Clank's head, but his muscle reactions would trigger his finger to fire and kill Clank anyway. He could take out the other Hairmon, but what good would that do? The one with the Blitz cannon would simply fire and destroy Clank's brain circuitry.

That's when Tensyon suddenly got an idea. Both the Hairmons and the Thugs-4-Less henchmen had the same blood in them, so if he was insulted by a minor comment, then maybe they would be too. He just needed to get…creative with his words.

"Hey, Hairmon!" he yelled.

"What?"

"I just remembered that one morning when I was doing the Marlick maneuver with your sister."

"YOU WHAT!!"

"No wait…it was your daughter."

The Hairmon screamed, swore out loud to Tensyon and fired his Blitz cannon at him. He ducked and Ratchet made his move. In a stupid impersonation of The Matrix, Ratchet dived sideways while taking out his Heavy Lancer, aiming for the Hairmon with the Blitz cannon. He fired two shots at his head, watching the orange laser bullets zoom at his face and burn it. He was launched backwards and his body landed next to the wall. The other Hairmon saw what Ratchet was doing too late to have any time to react. He had two flaming hot bursts of plasma energy pierce into his chest, tearing through the ribs and organs.

It seemed like a lifetime when it happened, but it took only two seconds for Ratchet to kill the Hairmon thugs.

"Clank! You alright?"

"Fine, I'm fine. What's goin' on? First I get captured by those Thugs again and then some raccoon mutant thing attack me and…what're doing with him?!"

"We're going shopping at the supermarket." joked Tensyon.

"He's 'helping' me take on these creatures since he knows all of their movements and planning procedures."

"What do you mean by helping you?"

"He means the enemy of my enemy is my friend and I'm actually risking my ass to help you guys save the universe again."

"Why?"

"You're the robot; you figure it out."

"Hmm…as far as I know, the only logical reason you're helping us is because you know this species is tougher than you are and because you got no more of your Thugs to back you up."

Tensyon scratched his head. "If you put it that way…"

"Look…as it is, I'm a dead Lombax, you're a dead robot and you're a dead lizard. How are we gonna defeat these hairy hybrids before they tear up the universe looking for us?"

"eBay!"

"eBay. How is eBay gonna help us, Tensyon?"

"How isn't eBay gonna help us?"

"Okay now let's get suggestions from someone who's not a complete dumbass. Clank?"

"Why don't we fly down to Silver City on planet Boldan and see if there's anymore information we can gather there?"

"Sounds good to me. Let's go."

Suddenly a large stream of plasma fired right next to Tensyon and Ratchet. It was a Vaporizer, in the hands of one of the most accurate Hairmons ever known. His name was Gylles, and he looked a lot like Tensyon, except his right hand was furry and his vest coloring were mostly yellow.

"GO!" yelled Ratchet.

Suddenly a whole stream of Hairmons appeared behind Gylles and began firing their Blitz cannons and Seeker Guns.

"What the hell--THAT'S NOT FAIR!!" yelled Ratchet.

It was impossible to avoid the Seeker Gun missiles unless someone put some form of obstruction in front of themselves. At least, that's what Ratchet thought. One of the missiles stretched out from its ball formation into an actual missile, ready to attack. Ratchet back flipped at the last second, dodging the bullet as it missed its target and exploded on the ground.

"Clank! Hop up on my back!"

Clank attached himself to Ratchet's back so he would be able to make Ratchet hover in the air. Two more bullets zoomed next to Ratchet and Clank extended the fans in his head and arms, causing them to fly up in the air and hover a little bit. Tensyon quickly grabbed the Blitz cannon that was on the floor and gunned down the Hairmons with the Seeker Guns. Another Vaporizer bullet zoomed past Tensyon and Ratchet and they heard someone shout out, "Damnit!"

Ratchet and Tensyon began to slowly move back while firing at all the Hairmons. Two went down with plasma bullets from Ratchet's Heavy Lancer and another four had several holes in them from Tensyon's Blitz cannon. Once again, a Vaporizer bullet zapped between the two.

"STOP MOVING!!" yelled Gylles.

Ratchet and Tensyon opened up the back door of the warehouse to see that there was a teleporter that would lead them right back to Ratchet's ship.

"Huh…that's weird." said Ratchet.

"What's weird about it?" asked Tensyon.

"Who leaves a teleporter that leads directly back--?"

Two more vaporizer bullets came across the two. One of them went right through Ratchet's ear, leaving a sizzling hole not too much smaller than a fist. Then again, Ratchet does have big ears…

"Screw it, just get inside!"

* * *

Ratchet, Clank, and Tensyon arrived at Ratchet's spaceship, ready to leave Endako and escape the Hairmons for good…or at least until tomorrow.

"Just to be clear, we're not friends or acquaintances or just random creatures that are working together to defeat to hybrid species."

"I'm not an idiot Ratchet. I'm only working with you so I won't end up getting stabbed in a dark alley at night. Don't be surprised that the second after we're done here, I don't try to shoot you in the back."

"…You do realize that by saying that I know now that you're gonna try and kill me and thus realize I should be on guard 24/7?"

"Yes…no. Wait, what--I don't understand words that confuse me!"

"Great! Now let's go."

And so there they were, on their ways for another exciting and perilous adventure. Lots of things were gonna blow up, plots would be revealed, people were gonna get killed and somewhere in between, Ratchet was going to get involved in another gladiator arena.

Just another day in paradise.


	5. Taking Aim

**Ratchet & Clank: All or…Something**

Ratchet, Clank and Tensyon fly to Silver City to obtain more information about the Hairmons, despite the fact that Gylles is gunning for the trio.

Ratchet, Clank and Tensyon were flying through the brink of space inside of Ratchet's red and orange spaceship. Of course, everything felt cramped and humid due to the fact of Tensyon's massive weight taking up too much space.

"You couldn't upgrade and get a better, bigger ship? I got no friggin' leg room in here!" said Tensyon.

"I've had this ship for years and everyone who's been inside fit perfectly! Everyone except Captain Qwark and you Tensyon."

"That's cause me and Qwark are practically four feet taller than you Lombax."

Ratchet growled under his throat.

"So these Hairmons haven't tried anything like this before?" asked Clank.

"No, they haven't, but only because we weren't defenseless before. Since I'm just about the only Thugs-4-Less lizard alive, they have no problem with conquering Snivelak or the rest of the universe for that matter."

"Wait a second, back up…you're saying these creatures could actually rule the whole universe now?!" asked Ratchet.

"They've been capable of doing so for the past several years, but because of my Thugs, they were afraid that we'd step in and destroy them within a matter of days or less. But since you took out most of my Thugs, they don't have that problem anymore."

"Hey, it's not like it's my fault that all your Thugs were too stupid to kill me with one shot!"

Tensyon abruptly passed gas almost as loud as an elephant seal, laughing and wafting the smell in Ratchet's direction. Clank was laughing too; since he didn't have a nose, he couldn't smell anything. Ratchet on the other hand was groaning and covering his nose.

"What was that for?!" he asked in a muffled way.

"That was your fault too Ratchet! Don't look at me!"

"How was that my fault?!"

"Because you killed all my Thugs which caused the Hairmons to kill even more Thugs which cause me to team up with you which caused me to fart in your face."

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"Actually it does. Since you killed all of Tensyon's mercenaries, he was left defenseless. When the Hairmons realized this vulnerability, they decided to invade his home planet and start ravaging his base and killing the rest of his mercs. The two of you inadvertently met with each other and ultimately discovered that you won't be able to defeat the lizard-mammal hybrids without working with each other. So you team up, rescue me, and the two of you travel in this spaceship. I'm guessing Tensyon ate burritos or a can of beans or some other flatulent food for breakfast, causing him to break wind in front of you. …Tensyon's got a point Ratchet; it IS your fault that he passed gas in the first place."

"If you're so smart, how come you didn't escape from the Hairmons yourself?"

"There was no general direction I could've moved to avoid the Blitz cannon blast without my circuits getting scrambled."

"We get it Clank, you're smarter than me. You don't have to be an ass about it."

"I wasn't being an ass. No 'ass' that I know of is made of cold hard metal--"

"CLANK!!"

**Meanwhile…**

Gylles was standing on the roof of a very tall skyscraper in Boldan City, getting out the equipment for his Vaporizer. He attached the scope to the top of it, snapping it into place. Then he twisted his silencer around the barrel to muffle the sound. His infobot in his pocket suddenly activated. A raccoon mutant with scales blended into his fur suddenly appeared on the screen, wearing a red vest and shorts.

"What's the situation Gylles?"

"I'm on the roof across the landing position of where the targets are about to land."

"How many reinforcements should you be worrying about?"

Gylles huffed. "I'm handling it Jawker. Just stop worrying about me so much! I'm not the idiot you take me for."

Gylles glanced over at the three Boldanian police officers who throats he slit.

"I'll get the job done."

"You'd better. Jawker out."

* * *

Ratchet's ship landed and he, Tensyon, and Clank jumped out onto the ground. They all looked around, observing the various hoverships and skyscrapers all over the place.

"All right genius. Where do we go to next?" asked Tensyon.

"That information building where you arrested us for trying to murder 'Mr. Fizzwidget.' I'm positive I saw a main terminal somewhere in that section of the building." said Clank.

"Okay, let's go."

Ratchet, Clank, and Tensyon walked all the way to the information center, encountering no resistance (except for a few armored chickenbots here and there) now that all the Thugs were gone. Although, for some reason, Ratchet felt like he was walking right into another trap again.

"Something's not right here…" said Ratchet.

"You're just acting paranoid Ratchet. No one is gonna sneak up behind us or try and shoot us in the back again." said Tensyon.

"How do you know the Hairmons aren't tracking us with some GPS locator?"

"If it worries you so much we'll leave after we find all of the Hairmons' bases and organizations. Get on the computer Clank."

Clank hopped in the computer chair and started punching in keys and decoding the Hairmons' algorithm to gain access to their mainframe on their home planet. All he needed now was the coordinates.

"All right, now all I need are the coordinates."

"Kay. The first is 5895-2806-NRT6."

Clank punched in the codes and waited for the computer to beep and show the results.

"Hmm…this looks like a recruiting station somewhere on planet Joba."

"Hurry up with those codes Tensyon, I think I just heard something." said Ratchet, taking out his Heavy Lancer.

"7725-8812-UTX5."

"This looks like a weapons facility on planet Dobbo."

"Next is 6910-00R4-WZI7."

"That's another weapons factory on planet Siberius."

"Another one is um…6662-QR34-18AK."

Clank sighed. "Another weapons factory on planet Gorn. How many of these facilities are there?" wondered Clank.

"I don't know. Just get this last code in before--"

"FREEZE! Everyone get your hands in the air right now!" yelled a Boldanian police officer.

Tensyon chuckled. "Like I'm really gonna--"

The officer fired at Tensyon's hand in a blink of an eye, burning it horribly.

"OWW!! What the hell?!"

"Get 'em up!"

"Look officer, we're not wanted criminals." said Clank.

"Yeah! We saved this galaxy from the protopet menace!"

"All I know is that my orders are to--"

The cop suddenly grunted when nearly 10,000 degrees of hear zoomed through his chest and burned up his ribcage and heart, killing him instantly. Ratchet, Clank, and Tensyon took cover behind the wall.

"…Oops." muttered Gylles, hundreds of yards away.

"Who the hell was that?!" asked Ratchet.

"Gylles the sniper. We're in real trouble here guys. He may be a lousy shooter, but he never stops hunting down his target until its dead." said Tensyon.

"In other words, we gotta take out Gylles before he takes us out."


	6. Hide and Shoot

**Ratchet & Clank: All or…Something**

Ratchet, Clank, and Tensyon play hide-and-seek with Gylles, determined to get off the planet alive.

Another hot stream of plasma zoomed across the city and slammed into the ground, rustling up some hot concrete. Ratchet, Clank, and Tensyon were still hiding behind the building and peeking from the corners, trying to see just how far away Gylles was. But almost every time a speck of their faces was revealed, Gylles would fire at them. Clank even took out a rusty circuit board from his insides and threw it in the air just to see how fast Gylles's reaction time was. Not even two seconds after he threw it, the board exploded and the remains clattered to the ground.

"How long was that?" asked Ratchet.

"Two seconds." Clank replied.

"One of us needs to go outside and draw his attention away so the other can get to the building and find Gylles." Ratchet confirmed.

"Why don't you do it?" asked Clank.

"I'm too last and…'fat' to run that fast. Besides, my 'body mass' might be too noticeable to miss." said Tensyon.

"Oh, like that's our fault? You're the one who eats numerous pounds of food and fat!"

"Why don't you go since you're so smart?!"

"Clank's not big enough to run fast. And even though he can hover in the air, he can't run that fast. …Guess I gotta be the one who draws him out. Hop on my back Clank." said Ratchet.

"I thought you said I run too slowly???"

"I need your copter wings so we can hover to lower heights. Now get on my back!"

Clank latched himself to Ratchet's back.

"What should I do?" asked Tensyon.

"When I start running, wait for Gylles to start following my line of fire, then you run and hide behind something. We do that over and over again until we get to where he's hiding and then we can smoke him out."

"Gotcha."

"Okay…3…2--"

"Aw, just go already." said Tensyon.

He shoved Ratchet & Clank outside the building which made Ratchet yelp when he was almost hit by one of Gylles's bullets. He quickly started to run and zigzag all across the center of the city, hoping none of the bullets would faze him. About eight seconds later, Tensyon decided to make his move and ran behind one of the giant water fountains, crouching behind it until he saw Ratchet hide behind another corner of a wall. Ratchet eyeballed Tensyon and made a bunch of hand signals telling him where he and Tensyon would go to next. Tensyon nodded his head and stared hardly at the next hiding spot. Ratchet started breathing heavily before he decided to run again, then he appeared from the wall and started to sprint and zigzag across the city street.

"Damnit, would you stop moving so much!!!??" screamed Gylles.

"Hey…that sounded like it came right from that building over there!" said Tensyon, hiding behind another crate.

"Okay, I see the next area to hide at and then we can rush inside and take over the building. Hopefully we'll manage getting back to my ship in one piece." said Ratchet.

Ratchet, once again, started to zigzag across the city streets of Boldan until he jumped inside a box. Tensyon took the opportunity to hide behind a tree and hope it was thick enough to stop the rushing energy bullets. A couple of leaves fluttered down to his face, but the tree bark itself wasn't too damaged. Ratchet signaled Tensyon again to run inside the building when the time was right. The two of them stood at their hiding spots with bated breath, hoping that Gylles wouldn't hit either of them by mistake.

Ratchet mouthed the word "Go!" and the two of them rushed across the street, throwing themselves into the building and starting up the elevator.

"WHEW!!! That was close! You alright Clank?"

"I'm fine Ratchet."

"Any of you guys think Gylles has a trap waiting for us the minute we get out of this elevator?" asked Tensyon.

"Well, what else are we supposed to do here? There's nothing we can hide behind, let alone dodge or block. We're just standing on a floating pad that's slowly moving up to the highest level." said Ratchet.

"So what do we do? Just stand here like sheep to the slaughter?"

Ratchet sighed and looked around. "I got an idea…"

* * *

"Fire!!" yelled Gylles.

Several of Gylles's officers began to fire inside of the empty elevator, realizing that Ratchet, Clank, and Tensyon were nowhere to be found. Gylles looked inside the elevator with a questionable look on his face, wondering what happened to the three fugitives. Gylles scratched his head and looked inside the elevator shaft.

"You did say they were in here right?" asked Gylles.

"Where else could those animals be hiding?" said one of his officers.

Gylles heard a couple of gunshots and groans not far from where he stood. Ratchet and Tensyon had managed to take out a couple of the guards. Gylles looked up inside the shaft and saw that the glass had been broken. Ratchet used his wrench to break the glass and the three of them managed to climb above the shaft from the outside.

"Everyone get back to your positions. Now!!"

* * *

Tensyon was looking at a Hairmon dead in his eyes…well, in his dead eyes, since Tensyon just stabbed the scaly furred creature right in the throat, severing his carotid arteries. He then took the Hairmon's Blitz Cannon and began to walk through a series on high leveled walls and construction blocks. It was like playing a game of hide-and-seek…except the loser would get blasted away with hot plasma bullets. He waited around a corner and peeked a little bit to try and see if another squad of Hairmons was around the corner. Unfortunately, five of them were resting right next to the walls, keeping guard.

Tensyon had to decide: Sneak around them or waltz behind the guards and blast them all to pieces. Tensyon decided to take the risky way and walked right behind them with his Blitz Cannon, shooting all of them in the back. A few of them took a couple of bursts before they went down, but Tensyon managed to kill them all in time.

"Huh…that was easy."

A Hairmon yelled when he was about to jump on top of Tensyon, but he simply took out his knife and sliced him in the torso. When the guard fell down, he slowly started to lose his kidney until he slouched to the floor and died.

"Hey, Ratchet! Where are you??"

* * *

Ratchet was repeatedly bashing a Hairmon in the head until he slipped into unconsciousness.

"Carz?? Where the hell are you man?" asked Gylles.

Gylles was right around the corner from Ratchet, walking slowly while holding his rifle. Ratchet needed to ambush him at the right time or Gylles would simply turn and shoot his head off. He looked straight ahead of him while cradling his wrench, making sure that Gylles had no chance to fight back. When he saw his rifle scope, Ratchet yelled and grabbed it, slamming him and the rifle to the wall.

Ratchet started flinging his wrench at Gylles's head, then he kept kicking his hands in order for Gylles to drop the gun, but he simply wouldn't give up.

"Hey, Gylles!!" yelled an officer.

Gylles growled and cocked his rifle, ready to shoot. Ratchet moved the gun so it pointed to the officer and Gylles inadvertently shot his own officer two times in the chest. Ratchet knocked the gun out of his hand with his wrench and started tussling with Gylles as he took out a knife. The two of them repeatedly began muttering and swearing words under their breath, aiming to get the knife and kill the other as quickly as possible. Gylles cheated and stepped on Ratchet's boots, making him scream and falter slightly.

"Ratchet!!" yelled Tensyon.

Tensyon fired his Blitz Cannon, hitting Gylles in the back. He turned around and was about to throw another knife at him, but Ratchet grabbed the knife in his hand and stabbed him in the back, killing him. Gylles grunted and pulled the knife from his back before he slowly glanced at Tensyon and collapsed to the ground.

"…Did you just save us?"

"Don't be getting all mushy on me! I only did it so I could kill Gylles, not so I could save you. Now let's get back to your ship before more Hairmons appear."


	7. Familiar Enemies in the Bundle

**Ratchet & Clank: All or…Something**

Ratchet, Clank, and Tensyon travel to Siberius to sabotage a critical Hairmon facility.

"Alright, so let me get this straight: the Hairmons have a secret weapons factory on planet Siberius?" asked Ratchet.

"That's what the computer terminal stated. If my calculations are correct, the facility should be located not far from where we found Angela and her secret base." responded Clank.

"I still don't understand why we're flying to Siberius first, instead of Joba."

"Because all those Jobian Saur-Beats get aggressive during this time in the year and the last thing we need to do is get swallowed whole by one of those creatures."

"Yeah, but isn't it winter in Siberius right now?" asked Tensyon.

"So it's winter; what does that have to do with anything?"

"I'M A LIZARD JACKASS!! You should know by now that we lizards do NOT like the cold weather!"

"Which is _exactly _why we're going to Siberius!" said Ratchet, smiling.

**2:09 am…Siberius local time**

After the brief flight in Ratchet's spaceship, the group eventually landed on the frosty planet of Siberius. But due to the violent climate of the planet, they weren't so sure of the exact position they landed at. In fact, the second Ratchet, Clank, and Tensyon jumped out the spaceship, they were blown off their feet by the howling wind rushing past their faces. Tensyon was practically blinded by all the snowflakes smacking him in the face and he was having trouble standing still. Even Clank was having a tough time, especially since he knew that if his gears froze up, he wouldn't be able to function properly…or at all.

"S-so-so…you sti-still it was a…good i-idea to come here first?" said Tensyon, with his teeth chattering.

"Look on the bright side Tensyon! I'm sure the weapons facility has a running heater inside of it!"

"You--you're right! Tho-those hybrids sh-sh-should have something in there t-t-t-to keep us w-warm."

"Remember Tensyon: this mission is about sabotage, not keeping warm."

"Just cause I'm-I'm not a robot does-doesn't mean I'm stupid!"

"Yes it does." joked Clank.

"Sh-sh-shut up!"

Ratchet, Clank, and Tensyon gazed beyond the horizon to look at the compound. In the front was a humongous door guarded by two massive Hairmons similar to the ones Ratchet encountered on Planet Endako. To the left and right of the compound was two large conveyor belts that had a series of green and blue crates with a black seal coming out of the factory. Next to these belts were a bunch of bulky raccoon/lizard hybrids holstering either Mega Blitz Cannons or Mega Heavy Lancers. If they moved in a little closer, they would've noticed the two Hairmons in the towers with Vaporizers. And if that wasn't enough, some of them had Choppers and HK22s. Ratchet rubbed his chin and began to wonder how he and his teammates would be able to get inside the compound without any hindrance in the plan.

"Hmm…" muttered Ratchet.

That's when Ratchet saw the pipes on the top of the buildings and his mechanism and engineering came into play.

"Those pipes move water to the boilers…boilers emit steam so they should build a grate to sift it out the room…" mumbled Ratchet to himself.

"What, you found a clue?"

"Umm…" Ratchet snapped his fingers twice and suddenly blurted out, "You still got those Magneboots?"

Clank opened up the center of his chest and took out the pair of Magneboots he found on Planet Orxon. Although as he tried to give them to Ratchet, they instantly jumped backwards and stuck to Clank's chest, knocking him into the snow. Ratchet grabbed the boots (and Clank) and struggled as he tried to pull them off of the robot. Ratchet yelled with force when he pulled them off his magnetic friend and he plummeted into the snow, prompting Tensyon to chuckle to himself.

"W-Why can't you look on t-t-the ground to find the s-s-st-steam coming out?"

Ratchet started putting on his Magneboots before he said, "All the snow and ice is blocking the ground so all the steam won't be visible until it melts away…but by then the snow will just cover the grate again, so I'll need these."

"Oh."

Ratchet put his boots on and started walking on the snowy surface, trying to find the metal grate. The snow crunched softly as his boots left prints in it and he was exhaling constantly, seeing his breath in the air. Tensyon was still freezing his tail off and Clank himself was getting buried in snowflakes. He needed to find the grate fast or his friends…well his _friend_ and his hated accomplice would die. That's when Ratchet heard a loud metallic clank on the ground.

"Hmm…"

Ratchet took another step forward with his other foot and heard another clank like the one before.

"Is-is that the g-g-gr-grate??" asked Tensyon.

Ratchet tried to jump up, but he only let out a strained grunt. It felt like his feet were gorilla-glued to the ground. He tried to jump again, but he let out the same grunt like last time. He was standing over the grate.

"I think this is it."

Ratchet took two steps back and took off his Magneboots, replacing them with his normal shoes. Using his hand, Ratchet brushed the snow away until he saw a pale, gray metal barricade with hot air rising through the slots. Ratchet put his hands on the warm steel and began to lift it up until it was open and left in a vertical position. Inside the grate was nothing but darkness and steam which lead to an unknown area. It could lead to absolutely nothing or possibly a trap, but Ratchet knew if they didn't go down the ladder they'd freeze to death or get spotted by one of the patrolling units. Ratchet didn't have the time to fight another giant Hairmon again so he got on the ladder and began to climb down.

"What're you waiting for? I thought you were trying to get warm Tensyon?"

"Shut up Lombax." retorted Tensyon, climbing down the ladder after Ratchet.

Clank followed the stout lizard and his Lombax friend into the shaft. They disappeared into the darkness and heard nothing for nearly five minutes except the sound of the steam hissing and the metal clanging when their soles pounded on the ladder steps. Ratchet was beginning to think that this ladder lead to nowhere and his hunch had gone cold. Lucky for him, after he had been climbing for six minutes, his foot landed on the ground. Ratchet jumped off the ladder and fell on the ground, as did Tensyon and Clank. They had arrived in the boiler room.

"Oh yeaaaahhh…this feels better than those chilling winds outside."

"I still can't see anything. Don't you have some type of night-vision Clank?"

Suddenly the door opened to reveal a lizard Hairmon with half of his face covered in fur. He turned on the light switch and found the three intruders standing right next to a boiler talking amongst each other. Everyone gasped and stared at each other, not knowing what to do.

"INTRU--"

Tensyon quickly slammed the door into the Hairmon and bonked him on the head, rendering him unconscious. Ratchet dragged his body away and placed it behind a fairly large boiler doused in steam. After the encounter, the group walked into one of the main hallways. The corridor was huge, lined with all kinds of Megacorp gadgets and weapons fit for a fortress. This had to be the atrium; no corridor would be this large unless it connected to all the adjacent sections of the facility. Perhaps it was built for the giant Hairmons or some other creatures even bigger than them. Ratchet didn't want to think too hard about it; he didn't need to face a monster bigger than the building itself.

"Whoa!! This place is huge!" said Tensyon, his voice echoing.

"I get the feeling something is goin' down right about now…" insinuated Ratchet.

"We need to split up. There's no way we can possibly cover this whole building all together in one little bunch."

"You're right. I'll go down this way, Clank you check the ventilation shafts, Tensyon, you go that way." said Ratchet, pointing in various directions.

* * *

Tensyon ran down a hallway and opened up a large bolted door, unaware what was behind and waiting for him on the other side. But to his surprise, Tensyon found a whole smorgasbord resting on a large table filled with exotic dishes that made his mouth water. Some of the food was sweet and juicy while others smelled rancid and were slimy. Tensyon didn't mind at all and he just smiled widely and started to devour everything. Salted Saur-Beast Tails, Orxon Sludge, a few pies imported by culinary chefs from Endako, exotic fruits and seafood like Scuttle Crabs from Pokitaru, stuff like that. He was laughing in a muffled tone with food in his mouth and stuffing more in like there was no tomorrow. Tensyon wasn't even all that hungry, but when you see a table full of food, you're gonna eat something off of it. In Tensyon's case, he was gonna eat all of it. He already finished eating the pies, Scuttle Crabs, and Kalebo beef stew and he was already working his way to the spaghetti dish loaded with onions. Tensyon dunked his whole head in and started slurping up the spaghetti and onions…forgetting about his current mission objective.

* * *

Ratchet was busy ducking and dodging his way past the guards in order to gather more Intel. So far, he had gone through a room with a couple of Hairmons holstering Blitz Cannons talking amongst one another. Ratchet was crawling along the pipes near the ceiling on the room, looking for something of great value. That's when he heard a couple of red Hairmons with reptilian tails talking about an arms deal going down soon.

"How come Inach is making the deal with those blubbery multi-eyed creatures in the middle of this factory?"

"Why send all these weapons to a spaceship and move them all to another galaxy, when two representatives can come here and make things a whole lot easier? Besides, I'm pretty sure those Galactic Rangers would intercept our transport if we try to fly to the Solana Galaxy."

"Yeah but those guys stink! You'd think they'd eat a breath mint or two before talking to somebody. I mean, what kind of creature talks by burping, farting patting his stomach and scratching their armpits and hopping on one foot?"

The Hairmon next to him shrugged and said, "Hey, they're paying us a ton of gold bolts and are throwing in a couple platinum ones too. You know how much we need weapon upgrades."

"I heard that!"

Both Hairmons laughed at each other and began to walk in opposite directions.

"All right, let's get back to patrolling yeah?"

"Yeah. See you later Krik."

(Blubbery multi-eyed creatures?) thought Ratchet.

* * *

Meanwhile, Tensyon was finished eating all the dishes and was smacking and noisily licking his fingers, rubbing his belly. His whole face was covered in spaghetti sauce and other types of juices that satisfied his taste buds. That's when Ratchet came in on his radio he acquired from the unconscious Hairmon.

"Tensyon? Clank? You guys there?"

Tensyon snarled in an agitated state and picked up his radio to respond.

"What?"

"You guys found anything yet?"

"…Nope." said Tensyon, trying not to say he spent his time eating.

"Well I found a large cache of weapons in the storage room. I'm checking out the air vents now." said Clank over the radio.

"All right. Be on the lookout for an arms deal goin' down. We need to find out who the Hairmons are selling the weapons to."

"So what do you want me to do?"

"You have a brain Tensyon! Why don't you use it once in a while?! Go 'spelunking'."

Tensyon sighed and slid the radio in his pocket, still unsure about what Ratchet meant by spelunking. He scratched his chin and stared at a metal grate leading to a system of air vents that would lead him throughout factory. Tensyon grunted as he pulled off the grate and he got on his knees to get a good look inside the vents. Tensyon started to crawl through the vents without any preclusion.

"Clank's not the only one who can crawl through an air vent!" chuckled Tensyon to himself.

Too bad Tensyon didn't consider his rotund body to be an issue, because when he was halfway through the vent, he got stuck.

"URGH!! Damnit!" growled Tensyon.

He grunted twice as he tried to move forward, then he grunted two more times to move backwards. But it was no use; Tensyon was glued in-between the air vents and had no chance of escape. He'd be put in a very awkward position should a Hairmon stroll by and see a fat lizard tail, butt and legs sticking out of the wall. And if that wasn't enough, the food Tensyon devoured was giving him a little bit of gas. He farted loudly and muttered, "Uh-oh." after feeling the heat seep out his rectum and through his shorts. Tensyon thought about fanning the smell away, but his arms were already inside the vent so there was nothing he could do but hope no one would smell anything.

"You said they had Salted Saur-Beast Tails at the buffet?!" asked a Hairmon.

"Yeah. We better go get some before it's all gone." said the adjacent Hairmon.

Now Tensyon was in real trouble. If the Hairmons traveling to the buffet table spotted him, the alarms would go off and the mission would be a bust. Tensyon used all of his strength to thrust himself into the air vent, but nothing was working. All of a sudden, he farted even louder and harder than before. In fact, it acted like a boost for a jet pack cause after Tensyon farted, his body shot itself straight into the air vent and his body was now concealed. Sure, the area still stank, but that was the least of his problems.

"Whoa…did you hear that?"

The other Hairmon shrugged. "I didn't hear anything."

"You sure you didn't just--OH MY G--THAT STINKS!!" said the other Hairmon, plugging his nose.

"What stin--WHOA!! Who passed gas?!"

"Damnit Engel I told you to stop eating so much chili!"

Both Hairmons continued to banter each other with their noses plugged while Tensyon surreptitiously…and fetidly got away in the air vents.

* * *

Meanwhile, Clank had found his way through the ventilation shafts and was currently looking through a grate where two senior Hairmons were talking to these odd looking creatures. Both of them were huge and had green skin with yellow underbelly. They were also naked, except for the black boots they were. Clank also noticed that these creatures had four eyes emitting from the top of their head and were burly; a blast for Ratchet's Vaporizer wound merely wound them. Aside from that were a bunch of large crates similar to the ones they spotted outside. Clank was certain he found the arms deal.

"So it's settled then. You take all these fine weapons in exchange for 40 million gold bolts, plus 20 platinum ones. I don't see what the problem is here." said the first Hairmon.

This Hairmon looked rare. His fur was blue and his reptilian skin (and tail) was coated with red scales. He was mostly raccoon, but his tail and right arm were that of a reptile. Clank paid very close attention to this Hairmon. Meanwhile, the green creature responded to the blue Hairmon by scratching his armpit and flicking his eyes, shortly before he belched loudly at the two and grunted.

"So were charging more than what you'd see on the market. Big deal; where else are you gonna find this kind of armory?"

The creature next to the one who started talking just made several growls at the Hairmon before he slapped himself in the face twice and patted his belly while shaking his head. The creature next to him replied in a similar fashion.

"I think I know who those creatures are…" whispered Clank to himself.

"It's very simple: You take the guns, you pay us, you walk away. I know you creatures aren't the brightest in the universe but even you can understand something as simple as that now can't you?!" said the Hairmon next to the leader.

Both creatures growled gutturally at the Hairmons and folded their arms, just before they started talking to each other. One of them started to make several grunts before he chuckled slightly. Then he abruptly lifted his left leg and broke wind, loud enough for everyone to hear. The creature standing next to him laughed heartily and he walked up to the Hairmons, shouting several chastising remarks about them in a series of grunts. Then the creature turned around, bent over and broke wind in their faces, before he started laughing too. Both of the Hairmons stood idly by, still not changing the expression on their faces.

"…I'm not sure what you guys just said to us…but judging by the vulgar smell and lower bodily functions you made, I'm assuming you just insulted us." said the blue and red Hairmon.

The creature made a mocking laugh and blew a raspberry at the Hairmon.

"Hey, don't blame 'em Warin. It's not your fault they smell like an Amoeboid's backside!"

The creature walked up to the Hairmons slowly muttering threats in the form of growls and small belches…which angered Warin's assistant and forced him to grab the creature's tongue with his bare hands. The creature's partner raised his gigantic blaster.

"Go ahead, kill us. I got another 50 or so men around this factory; someone's bound to know something went wrong when they find our bodies. And you 'Noids are so tall and aromatic they'll be able to see you, or smell you for that matter, a mile away. So you go right on and kill us…just don't be surprised if you find yourself facing repercussions." said Warin.

The creature looked left and right with his four eyes and realized that he was indeed surrounded. He growled gutturally again and lowered his blaster, while Warin's guard let go of the other 'Noids' tongue.

"So…about that deal…?"

Both creatures grunted and tossed Warin and his guard two sacks filled to the brim with gold bolts before kicking over a case containing 20 platinum bolts. Then they spat out some sort of swear word in their native tongue, grabbed the weapons crates, and walked away.

"See? I told you nothing bad was gonna happen." said Warin to his guard.

* * *

Ratchet opened up a sturdy door that lead him to a frozen room where everything was chilled and all sorts of frozen pipes and canisters containing liquid nitrogen were all over the place. He looked down and found a bunch of platforms leading to other compartments in the building as well as a giant grinder quickly rotating at the bottom of the room, probably created to crush any dislodged pieces of ice. Should Ratchet fall into the grinder, he'd get shredded instantly.

"Ratchet, come in." said Clank over the radio.

"Yeah, you found the arms deal yet?"

"About that, are you familiar with Tyhrranoids?"

"…Name rings a bell. Why?"

"I just saw them at the--"

Ratchet shouted and dropped his radio when someone started blasting their Heavy Lancer erratically from behind. Disoriented by the gunfire, Ratchet tripped over his own two feet and fell down to a lower platform, dropping his radio into the grinder.

"DAMNIT!!" yelled Ratchet.

Ratchet took out his Heavy Lancer and returned fire at the assailant. Suddenly, the platform began to get hot and Ratchet turned around and saw lava spewing down onto the railing. The platform melted away and was cut in half, which sent Ratchet plunging down to the bottom platform. He yelped when he lost his footing and almost fell into the grinder, but at the last second, he grabbed onto it with his left hand. Ratchet tried to pull himself up, but with the Lancer in his other hand and the assailant still shooting at him, there was nothing he could do. That's when a Hairmon jumped to the platform above Ratchet's and launched a Multi-Star at him after laughing evilly. The star ricocheted off the walls twice before it sliced through the platform.

Ratchet could only scream as his body was sent plunging into the grinder…


End file.
